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Let's Talk about Love

 

Love...One word for something with many degrees.

Did you know that some of the dialects of Eskimos have 40-50 words for snow?

Central Siberian Yupik has 40 such terms, while the Inuit dialect spoken in Canada’s Nunavik region has at least 53, including “matsaaruti,” for wet snow that can be used to ice a sleigh’s runners, and “pukak,” for the crystalline powder snow that looks like salt.

Yet in the English language we have one word for love.

I don't love pizza the same way I love my son. And I don't love my son the same way I love my spouse. 

Often times the word love is used so often that it's meaning can sometimes get lost. 

This is such an important topic to talk to young people about especially as crushes increase during puberty. 

The desire to be close to someone is essential to our livelihood and as we approach child bearing age that need evolves and romanticizes. 

Nature comes in and creates urges to be close to...

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Sex Education for Children with a Disability

Puberty can be a tough time for all young people but for kids with intellectual disability it can be even harder, for both them and their parents and care givers. Children with differing abilities may develop earlier or later.  Although no two children will develop the same way, they will still progress through the different stages. Each child also has their own learning needs. Learning about the development that happens at different ages will help you to understand where your child is physically in their development.

But while a child’s cognitive understanding of puberty and sexuality may be delayed for his or her age, the process of body maturation, hormonal changes, and sexual feelings usually is not — creating a mismatch that can be dangerous if ignored.

How do you know your teen is ready for certain sexual health topics? 

Here’s the good news – you can’t introduce things too early! Discussing topics earlier than you think is often...

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What's the deal with the egg baby activity? Does it work?

 

So what's the deal with the egg baby activity? Does it work?

Well that depends what it is being used for.  Is it effective at making young people hold off on sex? That would be tough to prove, but what I do think it is great teachable moment to talk about delaying parenthood. It is a great way to get kids to critically think about and consider how much time it takes to care for something. A pet can do this much better than an egg of course but it proves a point.  There are also some great follow up questions you can ask to get kids thinking. Questions like:

  • What sort of things do you think someone might miss out on if they were a parent before they were ready?
  • What would you like your life to look like before you become a parent someday (if that is something you'd like to do)? 
  • What challenges do you think a new parent feels? 
  • What is different about a real baby versus an egg?

How can parents make this activity more effective? 

If you are asked to...

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Early or Late Puberty

Precocious puberty is when a child's body begins changing into that of an adult too soon. Precocious puberty signs and symptoms include development of the following before age 8 in girls and before age 9 in boys,

  • Pubic or underarm hair
  • Rapid growth
  • Acne
  • Adult body odor
  • Breast growth and first period in girls
  • Enlarged testicles and penis, facial hair and deepening voice in boys

 

 

What causes precocious puberty?

If you suspect your child is going through puberty early talk with your doctor. It may be caused by tumors or growths on the ovaries, adrenal glands, pituitary gland, or brain. Other causes may include central nervous system problems, family history of the disease, or certain rare genetic syndromes. In many cases, no cause can be found for the disorder. There are two types of precocious puberty:

  • Gonadotropin-dependent. This is also known as central precocious puberty. This is the most common type of precocious puberty. Most girls and half of boys with...
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Talking to Kids about Gender and Sexual Orientation

Starting a conversation with your kids about gender or sexual orientation doesn't have to be one big TALK. In fact, it's better for kids – and parents – to have many brief conversations about gender and orientation throughout childhood, into adolescence and early adulthood.

These conversations will change over time, which is why this talk cannot be done only once. A conversation with a 5-year-old will be very different than that with a 15-year-old. Luckily, there are helpful resources (some listed below) to assist parents in how to navigate developmentally appropriate conversations with your children.

Start by thinking about the tone you want to set 

You can begin by talking positively about all the diversity that exists in our world – race, ethnicity, gender expression, sexual orientation – and that all these identities make us unique and wonderful people. Look for and point out diversity in nature....

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When Social Media and Drugs Collide

In the beginning of February 2021 one of my mentors Dr. Laura Berman, a renowned television host and relationship expert experienced the unthinkable. She lost her 16 year old son Sammy to an accidental drug overdose and is speaking out in hopes of preventing a similar tragedy from happening to anyone else. 

I can't imagine losing a child. This story particularly hit home and put interest in me because of how he acquired the drug - via social media (Snapchat). Anyone can direct message someone on social media and many individuals solicit for drugs, sex, and other illegal activities using these platforms. He was not an addict. Bored from the shut downs from COVID and wanting to experiment and try something mind altering, he had a prescription drug delivered to his home. The drug was laced with fentanyl and his system had a reaction. In his bedroom, with his family in the other room, he died alone.  

Dr. Laura's husband Samuel Chapman recalled finding Sammy "on...

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A Touchy Subject: 5 Tips for talking to your kid about masturbation

 

Masturbation doesn’t have to be a difficult topic to talk about with your kids. Small children, especially, may not even understand what masturbation means. They just know that touching themselves feels good. This is often the easiest time to broach the subject if you ask me. The video above provides scripting for this talk with your child. It is just one except from our Talking THE Talk Together e-course designed to guide parents and their 9-12 year old kid through the sex talk together. 

With younger children, parents can acknowledge that the touching is happening by saying something like, “I totally understand your body feels good.”  Then parents can suggest that kind of touching be done in private and, if kids want to do it, they should go to their rooms to be alone.

For a child under age 8, the talk might revolve around self-touching. This is vastly different than masturbating for sexual pleasure (which involves hormones, fantasy, and...

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COVID Didn't Slow Down Puberty!

I know, I know...obviously! 

Is puberty the elephant in the room in your house?  Don't ignore the signs that your child is developing and in the midst of these physical and emotional changes. Most schools across the nation missed the infamous 5th grade puberty video this past spring. With the challenges teachers and schools are facing right now I wouldn't leave sex ed to schools at this time and other experts agree. 

What do schools usually cover in sex ed?

That depends where you live. Here in California the California Healthy Youth Act (implemented January 2016) requires school districts to ensure all students in grades 7–12 receive comprehensive sexual health education and HIV/AIDS prevention education at least once in middle school and once in high school, and mandates curricula be age appropriate, medically accurate, objective, and appropriate for “all races, genders, sexual orientations, and ethnic and cultural backgrounds; pupils with...

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Talking to your Son about Wet Dreams

Talking to your Son about Wet Dreams and other Body stuff

Oh boy, oh boy! If you have a boy and puberty is here this blog entry is for YOU! There are many things you'll want to discuss with your son before, during, and after puberty pertaining to sex and growing up.

One of the bigger conversations will need to be around erections and wet dreams. A book can be a great place to start the conversation. There are general body books and more specific books on puberty changes and other important related topics. Be sure to check out our book list for some suggestions to get you started. 

I think where parents often get stuck is how to simply explain adult topics like ejaculations, wet dreams, erections, etc. It is helpful to have a bit of scripting around how to explain things. Here are a few scripts I've often used in the years teaching "THE Talk". 

Broaching the subject

Find a game to play together and talk while you are playing. Begin with small talk and then mention to your...

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Does Period Underwear Really Work?

 

I've been wondering?  Many of you have been too as I've heard your questions and skepticism when learning about this newer menstrual product. I decided to get myself a good quality pair and put them to the test. These are my thoughts and observations. 

Women today have more options to use for feminine hygiene protection than ever before. Gone are the days of pads or tampons only and now there are more environmentally friendly options such as menstrual cups and period underwear.  A teen new to their period may not be ready to try a menstrual cup, but period underwear…now we are on to something! Here are a few questions I had. 

What do they feel like? 

The underwear itself feels very high quality, kinda like swimsuit material, and are very comfortable. Having used tampons most of my life trying something different felt - well, different.  

You may be wondering how exactly this technology works so I asked the folks at THINX.com to learn...

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